In 2003, Pierre and I left France on our motorcycles to travel for 3 years around the world. Along the way, we met a character in a remote African village that we will never forget: The Crab Sorcerer. He lives in Cameroon in a tiny mountain village called Rhumsiki. He looks about 90 years old; no one knows for sure (many people in Africa do not know their age) but he is famous far and wide for the fortunes he gives. People travel miles to hear his predictions, and he must be good because they offer him cows, chickens and weeks worth of salaries for it. In turn, he gives it all away to the sick and elderly of his village.

We visited him one day and asked him 3 questions. He didn’t ask us anything about ourselves; he barely looked at us. He took his crab from his pocket, sat in front of a clay bowl filled with sand and pointy rocks representing what we assumed were symbolic of subjects in our question. He sat the crab inside and put a lid on the pot. The crab started kicking around and making a ruckus inside. After a minute or two he removed the lid, the crab went back into his pocket, and he began to speak.

The Crab Sorcerer
The Crab Sorcerer

Our first question, “Will we have kids?”

His answer, “Yes, you will have two, but it is because you want it that way. First a girl, then a boy.” In Africa, a fortune of only 2 kids wouldn’t be good news. You want at least 6 to take care of you in your old age.

That was the whole fortune. The other two, we’ll tell you some other day.

The Sorcerer didn’t look at us to see how we felt, or even if we were pleased with his reading. He finished our fortunes, and sat there as our young guide got up and directed us to offer a donation. Pierre laid a few dollars at his feet. He picked it up, not saying anything, and threw it back at Pierre. That was when the boy told us that villagers offer cows for his prediction (a fortune to most in the area), and so we ponied up more mazuma.

We believed him. He was an incredible man, with a presence I’ve never felt before or since.

All that to say, The Crab Sorcerer was right! A girl and a boy. The doctor found out in that order. Yay yay yay! What is more perfect than that? I didn’t want 2 boys. I’ve had boys around me my whole life. Boys boys boys. All my friends have always been boys, I have 3 brothers, a dominating father, I live with a boy, and I usually work with and start businesses with boys. Enough boys.

I’ve been having strong urges for a few years to open to befriend more women and get more female energy around me. It’s unfortunate the rest of the world doesn’t see being female as something to embrace. A known saying we heard while traveling in Ethiopia goes…. “The parents of a girl one day or another will get dishonor and shame because of the daughter’s misbehavior”.

So Pierre and I are curious to see if the girl will come first, like the Crab Sorcerer predicted. We’re sure she will.

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Il y a tant de Beauté dans la Nature !
Le Pouvoir de l’Amour !…
Le Mystère de la Vie !…
La Futilité de tout ça !…

Comment l’Homme peut-il trouver une fierté même la plus infime dans son Art, sa Technologie, et ses Accomplissements alors que nos chefs-d’oeuvres palissent si lamentablement en comparaison avec le Génie de la Création ?

Jetez-y un oeil. C’est la 16ème semaine !
 

2010: Odyssey Two
2010: Odyssey Two

 

Alien vs Foetusator
Alien vs Foetusator

 

Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead




Et maintenant, cliquez l’image ci-dessous pour démarrer…


LE FILM !!!

 

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Twins. Today my friends Ian and Locke both happened to send me the same image of this beautiful woman 36 weeks pregnant with twins. The image helps quell my fears I’ve been having about becoming a fatty, upholstered in plump.

So I go to Google searching for other pregnant women and the first image that comes up looks more like a burn victim. Good Lorb, I’m so unfamiliar with any of this. I think I’ve seen like, 3 pregnant women in my life. The images, one after another explode my fear of what my body is going to look like, and that I’m going to grow into some kind of stretch-mark Chia Pet.

Really Scary Stretch Marks
Really Scary Stretch Marks

Other images look like giganto goiters barely tethering to stomachs due to the mass pull, others like stomachs graffiti-ed with lightening bolts. Instead of putting away the computer, I gawk for 20 minutes until I’m well and disturbed.

Finally I call Pierre. Yeeelllll for Pierre. He sees what I’m doing, and tries to take my laptop away from me, saying “That’s it, give me that. I’m going to put the parent safety filters on.”

I’m really upset. So he hugs me and is trying to make me laugh, but dood, that is so sci-fi freakazoidio-show. My stomach is gonna look like Crater Planet! I’m going to sell all my stock and super-size me some plastic surgery. Eeeey!

In the end, I am mostly impressed with the woman who gave birth to triplets! Really an amazing feat, and I’m just…impressed.

http://theshapeofamother.com/Total%20belly%20time%20line.jpg

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